Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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