OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
