Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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