it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
