i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize