dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
