I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
