I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
