I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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