you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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