I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
