we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
