Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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