Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
