the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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