What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
