I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
