North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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