just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
