Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
