How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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