with your own penis?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think people are normalizing furries
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
