He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
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