I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
