I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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