Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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