now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
