youre lurking in front of me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize