you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize