No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
