Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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