Buhtt sex?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's never too late to be topless.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
