drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
