The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize