i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
