Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
