Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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