Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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