I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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