never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
