Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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