dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
