I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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