Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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