Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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