Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
