You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
