What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this just has baby written all over it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
