You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
