If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
