Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
