At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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