So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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