SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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