you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
