Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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