Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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