I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
