i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
