Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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