He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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