i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
FUCK WHALES
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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