I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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