would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So much rum. So many feels.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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